I’m going to name my daughter Tara Bell
God my children will hate me.
You know Russia took along time to recover from World War II, but only because they kept Stalin around
To some people marriage is a word, to others it’s a sentence
The wedding was very emotional. Even the cake was in tiers.
In math class today my friend, Derek, asked if he could borrow some Sharpies and I said “sure”. When he was finished with colouring his drawing, he half yelled “AWWW DAMNIT IT BLEED THROUGH”
And without missing a beat I say, “welcome to my world”
We almost pissed ourselves